Bebé Plus Me: To Go Back to Work or Not to Go Back to Work. That is the question.


Before Hamlet famously declared “to be or not to be,” Mamis have been struggling with the decision to go back to work, if we can afford it, or stay at home.  Two of my closest friends had their daughters within months of Baby L.  One has decided to go back to work, the other is staying home.  Which way will this new mom go?

I never identified as a turbo-charged career woman, à là Carly Fiorina or Meg Whitman who scaled to the top of Silicon Valley giants.  After crunching the números, El Husband and I realized that because of good money decisions, plus working our colas off for years, we have the option for me not to work, and our family will still come out financially ahead.

Baby L

No brainer, right?

¡Wrong!

I love Baby L more than I will ever by able to express with words or gestures.  But I discovered another “love” during my 4½ month maternity leave–I love my company and where I am within our group.  Even though I don’t want to be a CEO, I really enjoy working and contributing to my team.  I also couldn’t ask for a better Jefe–he’s considerate, supportive, and respectful of his team.  I think the compassion he’s shown to all his employees, particularly the working parents, is influenced by his deep religious beliefs and that he’s a dad to three kids.

So El Husband and I decided that I would “test” the work waters.  If my boss hasn’t turned into a male version of The Devil Wears Prada’s Miranda, if the group dynamics haven’t become a techie take of “The Office,” if El Jefe lets me work from home one or two days a week, then it can work.

But now I’m dealing with finding a nanny and the non-stop water works for the feeling and judgment that I’m a bad mother for even considering not staying home with Baby L.

For the Mamis out there, how have you dealt with Working Mother’s guilt?

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