Comments on: Why I Would NEVER Live with a Boyfriend Explained on NPR’s Tell Me More with Michel Martin

By: Bren

Bren — Mon, 07 May 2012 02:42:03 +0000

I’m so staying in the car, too! Genius! Love it. I’ve never thought of shacking up, but I sure have thought of the benefits… but that’s selfish— a double-edged sword. It would in fact benefit me, but in the end my value and integrity is paramount to a saved buck!

By: Veronica of Muy Bueno

Veronica of Muy Bueno — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 16:34:36 +0000

Such a taboo subject, much more so in the Latino community, I think. Either way, it is a personal choice which I’m glad my mother left for me to make. My reason for playing house or merging, as we lovingly called it, before the big “M”, marriage was to make sure we liked playing house, if not we were both grown up enough to know we could walk away with no strings attached…we are coming upon our 20th Wedding Anniversary this summer. It worked for us.

By: Marisa

Marisa — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 05:59:52 +0000

To marry or to shack-up? I think great love lives hinge on wisdom, respect and attitude. From what I’ve seen, most married couples in the USA try harder than those who live together. On the other hand, I’ve known couples in Mexico who have lived together and raised families with the same dedication and expectations as a marriage–and are still together after many years. Here in the USA our culture of individualism, materialism and convenience brings more challenges to marriage. Which is why I own a pair of well-worn running shoes. Yes, I’ve become queen of the bachelorette club.

I, too, love chivalry and romance. And I have loved and lost. Truth is, you can “put a ring on it” but some people aren’t cut out for the work of building honesty, respect, integrity, trust, value and the willingness to grow both as a couple and as individuals. Ring or no ring, great love relationships are an ongoing journey that involve learning to be a real team; taming egos (and we all have one!), being authentic, sharing, communicating effectively, and operating from a point of joy and love rather than fear, pride, ego, etc. When I find a partner willing to take that leap, I’ll gladly trade in my bachelorette club tiara for a wedding ring!

By: Lisa - AutismWonderland

Lisa - AutismWonderland — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 01:44:10 +0000

Great post…although, the husband and I were shacking up before we got married. And even though we knew what to expect – that first year of marriage was THE HARDEST for us. It’s not as easy to walk away at that point and the pressure is really on. Had we not had that year of unmarried, living together experience – maybe we would not have made it.

Who knows – either way you do it. It’s a gamble.

By: Sujeiry

Sujeiry — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 03:36:40 +0000

I feel exactly the same way! I feel shanking up before he puts a ring on it makes it too easy for men. If he loves spending time with me so much, then marry me! That’s when I would shack up.

And on my next date, I am so staying in the car lol.